No such thing as monsters and fairies…?

“No, there’s no monsters under the bed” I said, knowing Sam (5) would never buy this without checking for himself…
He wriggled out of bed and searched beneath the bed with the thoroughness of a CSI  forensic investigator. I waited patiently, yawned and trudged to his cupboard (before even being asked) and opened it for the usual, similar inspection.
I don’t really mind the barrage of sleep-delaying tactics because it’s so much quieter than the alternative. But sometimes my brain does shut down for the night before my mouth does.
“Sammy, there’s no monsters under the bed or in the wardrobe or in the drawers. There’s no such things as monsters. ever. There aren’t any in the whole wide world. No monsters, no goblins, no orcs, no fairies, no Sant… I bit my tongue. That was close. Going to need that white beardy guy in the red suit over the next few months.
But as I poured myself a glass of wine and surveyed the clean and tidy kitchen, I realised there were such things as fairies. Because whenever I leave a wet towel on the bed, or my boxers on the bathroom floor or leave the pans ‘to soak’ – they always magically wash themselves and find their way back to their correct cupboard.
Fairies. What other explanation could there be?